Saturday, January 10, 2009

Update on it all.

Again, not sure where to begin. Well, we will start with Taren.

I decided to take her to the doctors for her behavior problems. Dr. asked many questions and I gave long drawn out answers because everytime I had an answer I cried along with it. I've explained that she is out of control and I'm starting to lose it too. I know she has it in her to be well behaved but her dark side comes out EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. I'm explaining the behavioral problems to her and Taren is acting like an angel of course. So dr. says she's going to send us to some other dr. and we'll go from there. Fine, ok. Well, while paying my bill and waiting for the referral for the other dr Taren tells me she wants a sticker. So I tell her to ask for one and she does. The receptionist tells her she doesn't have any princess stickers but she has My Little Pony and Taren flips out. She kicks the girl, throws herself on the floor, (at this point I tell another office girl to get dr. so she can see this), screams, punches the wall and tries pulling out her hair and spits. Yep, this angel that I took in was gone and her true colors came barrelling ass out of her right in front of other patients, the dr., the nurses, and everyone else that could hear the screaming a mile or two away. I was horrified, embarrassed, and any other emotion you can think of. The dr. comes to me and pulls me aside and I'm in tears over this and tells me that Taren needs more attention than she thought. So we are going to go and do some counseling together. The dr. thinks it may be the dinamics (sp?) between the two of us but I don't know about that. She has had her days with her other grandmothers but it's every day with me. There is so much I can tell you about her but I don't want it to seem like I can only complain about my daughter because I love her with my heart and soul. I feel like such a failure with her. There are so many things I could admit to the people who read this but if I did that then I'd be a failure to you all too. It hurts so bad to feel like I can't control my 4 year old. She has a complete hold on me and knows how to push my buttons. Hopefully some counseling will help.

Cheerleading: Well, we were supposed to compete in Southington today but due to the weather it was cancelled. Come on people, like you've never driven in 8 inches of snow. GEEZ! No seriously, I was thrilled that it was. I wish I would have gotten a call earlier than 7:30 am, you know, like maybe the day before so I didn't have to do 5 hairdo's and get 5 girls up and ready by 8 to leave my freaking house! GRRRR Chalker High, GRRR!

Everything else is good. Yep, I said, I'm basically doing ok. School is rocking so far, but yet, I've only been back for a week. I start venipuncture on Monday. Totally thrilled about that! I get to poke people. YAY! Well, if you read it all, thanks for stopping by. Hope to hear a comment or two! Pics to follow.


Amy said...

I had no idea you were going through this. My sister has really bad behavioral issues too. My heart goes out to you Kelly. This does not make you a bad mother whatsoever. We all have our limits. Hang in there and I hope that you can find something that will work for both you and Taren.

Brooke said...

Kelly I had no idea that was all going on. I hope things are starting to go better with Taren (I'm way behind on my blog reading). Hang in there.